


Doggy Style

by Rockinmuffin



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Comedy, Drabble, F/M, Gen, Gender-neutral Reader, Humor, M/M, Other, Post Pacifist Ending, Reader is kind of ignorant, Reader-Insert, but hey that's still better than wanting to bone the skeletons right?, if you're reading this you might be a furry, they just don't know any better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 16:22:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6527281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rockinmuffin/pseuds/Rockinmuffin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What does this collar say to you?”</p><p>“It says I should attach a leash and take you out for a walk."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doggy Style

**Author's Note:**

> Brain: Write a reader-insert for Doggo.
> 
> Me: Why?
> 
> Brain: *Shrugs*

Animals are better than people. That’s not an opinion; it’s an indisputable fact. It’s why you’re content to work a part time dead-end job with no benefits at a pet shop instead of a well-paid office job. You still have to work with people, but at least the people you see on a daily basis are equally fond of animals as you are.

The line between the two starts to blur when the customers who walk into your shop are almost indistinguishable from the animals behind the glass cases.

They’re called monsters. And apparently they’ve been trapped underground until just recently? Also, no biggie, but magic is real and everything you’ve ever known is a lie. Surprise! People are making a big stink about it but you don’t really think too much about it. People are people. Even if some of those people look like animals and make you feel very confused about whether or not you should give them a treat when they shake your hand.

It’s a little surreal, admittedly. Animals buying animals. Oh-ing and aw-ing over the cute animals up for adoption. Walking in and buying little hats and costumes to subject their pets to wearing ridiculous outfits. One of your regulars is a bunny woman who always comes in with a smaller bunny on a leash and to this day you’re still not sure if it’s her child or her pet. You resign yourself to never knowing. At this point, it’d be rude of you to ask.

All and all, your life is pretty much unaffected despite all the hubbub of the monsters coming to the surface. The needs of your monster customers are basically the same as the needs of your human customers so your duties don’t change.

You’re checking on inventory, making sure the walls are well-stocked when you spot a dog monster looking at the wall of collars and leashes. Normally, you like to give the customers their space, but the way he’s squinting like he can’t see what’s in front of him makes you feel inclined to actually perform the most basic duties of your job and see if he needs any assistance.

With a deep breath, you put on your best I-hate-my-life-but-I’m-smiling-the-pain-away grin that can only be mastered after years of working customer service and approach him.

“Can I help you?”

“A voice!” he yelps, jumping in place. He darts his head from left to right, eyes unfocused as he barks and yips in place. “I hear a voice but I don’t see anyone!”

“Right here, buddy.” You wave your hand in front of his face and he focuses on that, calming down just a bit. The barking dies down to a very faint whine. Should you offer your hand for him to sniff? After some debate, you allow your hand to fall back to your side. “Can I help you?” you repeat.

His ears perk. “Yes, actually. I need another person’s opinion.” The dog monster gestures to the black leather spiked collar hanging on the wall in front of him. He picks it up, paw pads grazing over the spikes briefly before he holds it to his neck like one might hold a tie. “What does this collar say to you?”

“It says I should attach a leash and take you out for a walk,” you answer before your brain can stop you from shoving your entire foot into your mouth. Once you register what you’ve said you immediately slap a hand across your face. “Oh my God, I am _so sorry_! That was so rude of me, holy crap!”

The dog monster doesn’t appear to be offended. He focuses on you with cloudy eyes, his tail wagging slowly behind him. “Do you…? Do you really want to take me out on a walk?”

At the risk of sounding like a racist piece of garbage, you pull your hand away from your mouth and answer honestly. “Yes.”

His tail wags back and forth in earnest. “I love you.”

“Um, thanks?” From a human customer, that kind of response might have you filing for a restraining order, but from a customer that looks like a dog it feels like it’s just the natural response. His tail wags even faster. You really want to reach out and pet him but it would probably be bad manners.

“So can we?” he asks.

You stare blankly.

His tail slows without completely stopping. “Go on a walk?”

“Uhhh…” You scratch the back of your neck. “I don’t know. I’m kind of supposed to be working right now, so…”

You cut yourself short when you find yourself looking at a big watery set of puppy-dog eyes.

And, oh, that’s not even _fair_. Puppy-dog eyes are hard enough to resist on a human—and you don’t even like most humans—but on a person who literally looks like a puppy-dog? You never stood a chance.

“Sure,” you say, throwing caution to the wind as you buckle the collar around his neck and grab a leash to clip to it. If anyone asks, you can say you’re helping a potential customer test out a product. It’s just like when a person takes out a new car for a test drive. You’re just being a good employee.

This has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you want to rub this guy’s belly and tell him what a good boy he is and also maybe feed him some peanut butter so it sticks to the roof of his mouth and you can videotape his reaction and post it on YouTube.

“I’m going on my lunch break now!” you shout to your manager as the dog monster tugs against the leash and pulls you out the automatic sliding doors.

Animals are better than people. That’s a fact. Though the line between animal and person starts to blur when you find yourself going out on what might be a date with someone who has paws and fur and a tail. You decide to just not think about it too much. After all, people are people, even if they strain your arm by pulling on the leash every time they think they see a squirrel.

And, hey, this isn’t even your first time dating someone with a preference for wearing collars.

**Author's Note:**

> [For fic updates, reblogging sin, and the occasional random thought, feel free to hit me up at my tumblr. I'm rocksinmuffin and I am garbage, but, like, the fun kind of garbage. 18+ please.](http://rocksinmuffin.tumblr.com)


End file.
